SWEATISTAN

Hola amigos and amiguettes. I have been inundated with the French since I have arrived and it has began to wear off in my slangitude. Lo Siento to those who prefer their slang to be spanglish and fries to be freedom. But I digress, and need to get back to my original idea, as we both know we I can jabber on for quite a while if let to. Well so as I was sayin, whats up. Me not much thanks for asking, although I have been diligently working on officially changing the name from Skateistan to Sweatistan due to my new understanding of what it is to be constantly moist. On the reg I usually get through 2-3 shirts each day depending on how much awesome I spread while at sk8 sessions, or just cruising around town getting dirte. Sweating while eating, done and done, for some reason hot, spicy, brothy, yummy soup tends to be always on the menu, and I keep falling for it. Every time. Sweating while sleeping you betcha, pretty icky. Sweating while sweating, got that one down too, pretty much a no brainer.

While I am describing my new personal perspiration habits, many of you kind souls are thinking well uncle rory, how does one keep kewl in such a place. Here is my lil secret for ya, and it has to actually be one of my top three things in the world. Those that know me well, understand I have love in my heart for only three things. Thats it, thats all, just three very important life giving things;

Nachos- Found em here and lets just say not up to par, or even close to being on the course actually. For some reason Mexican food is an unexportable product. Every place I have ever had Mexican food outside of the two countries which are and once were Mexico, I just get sad. Probably not gonna cool me down to much, actually might be in line with the meat sweats you can find here too. So this option is out.

Dr Pepper- Found it. Delicious as always, maybe a bit old as it had a Thor Movie can, but those 23 flavors come shining through everytime. (except right now while I have given up sweets for lent in an effort to eat more of the yummy fruits that really do grow around here. Next door they got a mango tree, sometimes think about shimmying up there to grab a couple good ones, but then I think of what happens to mr. Chow round these parts, and well I just pony up the $.25) Might cool you down for a bit, but then you realize that the dr is only 12 fluid oz's of flavor, which only lasts a few minutos, and then you are back on a first class flight to Sweatistan. This option is only a temporary fix.

The Mall- Found it! Commerce, FroYo, Cafe, and most importantly A.C.!!!!!!!And this my friends is my secret to keeping cool in these parts. Although there is no Cherry Creek, South Coast, or The Grove out here, there is Sovanna shopping center and City Mall which is right down the way. Not more than a few minutes in a super sweaty car ride away, which really prepares you amped for the AC, is a nice little slice of commerce.

Head out the front door in your choice of vehicle, moto, red rocket, sketchy lil truck, or the beast from the east(these are all our cars here, and actually deserve their own post, maybe I will write a fictional piece about how they are actually like go-bots((not transformers, cuz they would actually work well, and are probably japanese)) and they would tepidly fight crime around here, and then when it got kinda hard they just take off their hoods and sit around some small chairs and tables drinking angkor and mekong moonshine and snacking on peanuts), then just take follow dirt street 77, to 271(where we found our friend the Body), hang a lucy, avoid a sea of motos and oncoming traffic, quick randy(or taco if you are reading this in ChiCity), and voila you are there. A lil slice of paradise, wedged in between some pretty rad street soup, a gaming center, a KFC, and a whole bunch of other random shopettes selling the typical knock off goodies.

Although there is no McD's, there is soft serve mcflurry types at the lucky burger, which seem nice enough, haven't it yet due to lenten vows but it will be dominated in less than 40 days and nights. There are plenty of good things at my new mall. Food courts and an arcade spell Friday night to me alright. Throw in some of the local hooligans wandering around, an ice skating rink, and shitloads of commerce, and there you have it, Mall. I have taken the liberty to document some of my favorite things to do at the Sovanna Mall, which you will see below. *Please note the smile on my face is due the the incredible power of the A.C. kicking out prime BTU's in this place. An oasis of chill in the desert of Sweatistan.

This most recent trip to the mall was quite exquisite. It started as a nice little lunch jaunt with to hit up the food court and see what kind of heat they bring. But ended up being an all out assault with Tattoos, arcades, and FroYo. The type of lunch break that is most needed when one has a nice layer of sweat and grime built up. I have included a few pics of this great outing, but I was prompted to not take photos in a few places, my guess is because most of the stuff sold their is not exactly "legal."


Lets mall it up yall!



All kind of Shoes and Bags. All kinds of Clothes. Why Yes.



Screw the escalator, we taking the lift!



Keeping cool on the outiside with AC. Keeping cool on the inside with FroYo.



Food Court Lunch. Surprisingly no orange chicken. But the BiBimBop was yummy and even funner to say!



Pretty sure a whole container meant for Claire's ended up here.



Airbursh Tatt time. There was no 18 for Manning, so I just went with the stock Unicorn.



Hurts much less than I thought.



You aint got one of these at your mall.



Happy Land indeed! You get like 20 quarters worth of tokens for 2 dollars worth of quarters. Whoa. PS they wouldn't let me take photos in here, so there is nothing of me dominating Dance Dance Revolution.

That is just about it from the mall, but don't worry I go there a couple times a week so there could be more to come.

Green Eyes Gonna Miss Ya.

Vaya Con Doritos.