VAYA CON DORITOS: February 2015

Its whistle time here in Mazar this evening. Whats whistle time you must be thinking, and well its like this. Since we live down the road from the Police station, they like to keep the hood clean as a whistle(get it get it!). So round now, exactly 8:44pm you hear some whiiisslin, not like me being bored putzing around the casa, but like a real deal whistle, Ed Hochuili style . But what does it all mean Rory? Well it means that my man is cruising the streets letting people know that he is on the prowl keeping an eye out for the badmen. Think of him as a modern day Dark Knight, but instead of handy utility belt, he probably has a whistle and a nokia phone, like the first celly cell you had, thats probably about it. It's kinda comforting to know that this dude is cruising around MeS, battling the packs of wild dawgs, rampant late night popcorn sellers, and keeping uncle Lorli safe while sleeping the evening away in what is shaping up to quite an upgrade in the bed department. Thank you USAID and the American taxpayers, yall got me sleeping like a baby.

So what else has been happening here. Hmmmmm. Lemmmme see.... We got a new house which is a bit awkward, as I think it was formerly a school and has all sorts of signs around, which I have not a clue what they say. There is even street signs for our defunct school all over the hood, which is kinda fun. I have been getting pretty good at starting fires to keep me warm in what is shaping up to be a mild winter by this CO bachas assessment. Hmmmm. What else..... Oh yeah we went to the military base, AKA Camp Marmal, the other day which was a treat. Kinda like seeing how the other half lives and trying to dip a toe into the life of what most of the foreigners who are in this country get involved in. Its pretty wild, no headscarves on the babes, pork ribs, and also because this is a German base, beer! Yes, German soliders get 2 beers a night, not a joke, its like a German law or something.

Imagine nothing but gigantors walking around in camo and guns, with nowhere to go but chill and play like bat-mitten and shit. Outside of the beers, its a pretty probably a pretty boring gig, unless you only get to go to the base like once every few months, like me. Then its a fucking paradise, with gummy bears and chewing tobacco! Think of any of the things that most people use to pass the time, and they got em. Model planes, got em fo sho. Magic the Gathering (TM), got em. Plus you can get a good amount of the goodies that are nearly impossible to get, like gummy bears and fancy chocolates for when you have a case of the Mondays.


Thats Enough Jerky For An Army!!!(Get It!!!)

Heaters and Lung Darts

But the real good stuff they got probably doesn't go in your mouth. Oh no. There are shops here were the good men and women in the fighting world can get goodies to bring back to let people know they have been in the "shit." And guess what, it is extremely offensive and definitely interesting to see. Want to know how to convince 18 year olds that killing people is totally ok, make some offensive and racist T-shirts, which build up negative stereotypes of who are some quite amazing people(I know, I am lucky enough to work with a bunch everyday). Feed enough of this stuff to them and boom, you got yourself a warrior.

Sounds Like a Nice Countryside Ride

If Only America Was Cool With Guns and Bikes, This Would be Seen Daily

YUP

Yall Know There's Gotta Be Some Angry Birds Up In Hur!!

So what else did I do at the base? You bet I took a bunch more photos, which I think is definitely illegal, got some eats at the cafeteria, and then got involved military exercises with the ISAF approved Mongolian Soldiers. Whats that like? Well a whole bunch of big ass Mongolian soldiers go running around with guns, setting up their position in the chance of there being an attack. Want to know whats even more fun? When you don't really realize that they are doing military exercises, and start to think some shit is going down and you are kinda near the front lines. Fun Times indeed. Want to know what else is kinda fun, getting yelled at by the German police for staying past guest curfew. Some big ole police dudes actin tough and the only words you can make out are Ze Conseqvenzes in between some blah blah blah. Technically ze conseqvenzes were for my friends who took us there, but ze vere not too bad. All in a good day at the base!

Want to see what base life is like? Wait no more and feast your eyes on these.