This week we have two separate but equally entertaining, takes on my time here in Cambodia so far. The first of which has to deal with the permeation of hipsters to all reaches of the globe, and the second are some random stories that I have heard so far while talking with colleagues, expats, and whoever else will listen to me jabber on in a form of English that can be quite fast and mumbly to say the least. Sometimes I even wonder how I fit so many words into a sentence. Anywho, here we go.
Having experienced hipsterdom from many locales across the states, there are a couple of emerging traits that one can recognize when in the presence of such. Now, don't get me wrong, these are not your traditional ironic tattoo, fixie riding, urbanites who frequent the Williamsburgs, Abbott Kinneyz, and Logan Squares of the world. Oh no, this Cambodian version of hipster might not even consider themselves a hipster at all, yet they fit all of the tell tale signs of the art of being ironically indifferently apathetically amazing. Now some of you reading might be saying to yourselves, well Uncle Rory, I think you yourself might be one of the very hipsters that you seem to be mocking, to which I say "Shut Your Mouth." But really, yes, I implore many of these traits myself, which means that I can speak from more than just personal experiences and tight jeans. I mean come on I write a blog, don't think it gets more hipster than that, ok maybe if I had an Etsy site.
I have put together a lil list of things that hipsters across the globe adore and see how they fit in my new spot. I know that there are a so many traits that can be considered, but I chose a couple of my favorites. Cheers.
Cheap Beer and Whiskey- Hipsters love cheap beer and Whiskey and guess what so do Cambodianins. There are no PBR's, Hams, or Schlitz to found in the kingdom, but there are so many super cheap beers here that is impossible to keep track of them all. Angkor, Anchor, Cambodia, Phnom Penh, Beer Lao, Leo, Black Panther, and ABC all run about $.50 each. And for Whiskey, well they have their own brew here commonly referred to as Mekong Whiskey, once again super cheap(and often home brewed, uh oh, a bit further in the post I will regale you with an interesting Whiskey tale). Often these are the only two things on a menu at a local watering hole, and if you ask for anything else you get laughed at. Sound Familiar? I am pretty sure I have had similar experiences stateside where I have been frowned upon by a long mustachioed barkeep for ordering something not on the menu, with a phrase like this one in particular "Sorry sir, these are all locally sourced ingredients from California, and thus we cannot make a Margarita, as that would require us to use Tequila, which as made from agave from Mexico, and since it is not a California product cannot be served here. Would I suggest a Sparking wine and Victorville Appletini instead?"
Trucker Hats and Tight Jeans- Two items Hipsters love and also two items that many of the Khmer youth rock on a daily basis. Nuff said, pretty self explanitory here, unless there is an Angry Bird on there, then is it ironic or just Khmer? Riddle you that.
Food- Houte Cuisine is in these days on the east side of the Mekong. Everything from tip to tail cooking, pig roasts, and Asian Fusion are all found. Had me some pig intestines the other night and they were delicious, and thought to myself maybe this ballin street chef saw a recent episode of Top Chef and got the idea for using such exotic ingredients, when Tommy Collicio praised a young up and coming chef for his elegant use of sweatbreads in a carpaccio. Or maybe not.
These are a couple of the random thoughts I have on the hipster/cambodian phenomenon, and please don't get to sad that I don't have any pics, as taking random photos of people cruisin the street has seemed to get me some akward looks, and I don't want to anger my new compatriots.
Part Dos of this weeks blogness has to do with some of the rather interesting stories I have heard out here. Funny, sad, and possibly true! Who knows, but either way I think they make for good reading for you and writing for me. A couple of you might have already heard one or two of these stories, that is because you are a select few who use electronic mail to communicate with me. Feel Special!
Story 1- Eating Dog.
This one is actually a very true story. People always talk of how dogs are eated on the reg in Asia, and let me tell you that is correct! And also real fucking delicious. Really. No Joke. I ate some last week, in two forms: Curry with lemongrassy peanutty sauce, which was a tasty but might have been the puppy bits that don't make for good grillin. Chewy and a bit weird, I thought for a few minutes that my first attempt of eating Chakai*(dog in Khmer) would not be much to write home about. But then, hot off the grill came some tiny lil riblets and yummy meat pieces to our table. WoW! Dog is actually quite tender, does not taste like chicken, and proves that just about any meat grilled properly is delicious. Mugsy's BBQ has a might just have a new menu item.
CHAKAIIIII!!!!!!*
Boss man Benji, enjoying some street perro.
Story 2- Group Beatings.
With our experiences with theft here, and discussing with other expats their own bouts with crime I have come across an interesting factoid. When a Chow*(thieve) gets caught in the act here, there is usually a no nonsense public beat down that occurs where the whole community, grandma and all, kicks the shit out of somebody before the police arrive. I have heard about a few different cases, one story where the police asked why didn't the angry mob just kill the Chow*, as with the penal system here, he would be back out in a month or so to do some more thievin. Another story is about 3 thieves who were caught stealing a couple of bikes and were thus beaten by the local villagers, two of which to death, and the other into a serious condition. Although I have yet to partake in one, I am always on the lookout to join in some community bonding!
Story 3- Mekong Moonshine.
This one is probably my personal favorite, as I find it quite interesting ad equally sad. Supposedly just before I arrived this occurred: A local bloke, who wanted to get his crunk on decided to get down on some homemade Mekong Whiskey, Cambodian White Lightning, Turpentine, whatever you want to call it and have hisself a nice Friday night. As it turns out that if you brew the stuff wrong you end up with Methanol, not Alcohol, which can make you go blind, and if you drink enough this stuff which was actually once used as rocket fuel, it will kill you. Well this hombre unfortunately chose his home brew poorly and drank Mekong Methanol and ended up dying as a result of getting "pissed"( I have been hanging with a good bit of Aussies lately and picking up the slang).
No good at all and actually quite sad, as guy was just doing what people all over the world do, get a buzz on. But this being the place it is, it is easy to see how in an attempt to create a cheap version of booze, a deadly concoction was mistakenly made.
And just when you think this is the end of an awful story, this happens. At the funeral for him, seven of his buddies decide to drink away the sorrow of losing their friend, a common occurrence at almost any funeral any where. Guess what they decided to ease the pain with? Right-O Mekong Moonshine. So now I have no clue if this was from the same batch that took the life of their amigo, but the booze these seven friends all drank was also botched moonshine/methanol. And they died too. In total 8 people died of this stuff. Ouch, and I now I make all my roommates try any home brew action we buy first, just in case......
Pretty sure drinking this will make you go blind. PS. Note that it is from the ministry of mines and energy. Definitely make you go bind.
Story 4-Worms.
I have been told, with my dietary restrictions here, which are actually the same as the US, "No Mayo" and that's about it, I might be in line to meet some special friends. Parasites, or as Harry and Lloyd would say, "I Got Worms!"
If I am lucky these new friends will most likely be in my near future. One of my favorite games which I like play and have dubbed "Street Meat" (which is how I ended up eating Chakai*) and quite similar to "Street Clams" happens on the reg here. Its pretty easy and anyone can play. It goes like this: a. walk up to a street vendor b. point at a piece of meat c. see what they decide to chef it up with. Simple and always entertaining, and often times chewy.
From what I have been informed may not always be the best idea, as eating undercooked or just plain ole weird meats from street stalls could possibly be partially hazardous to my health. Realistically worms are not all that bad, and can help me lose a couple of those extra lbs I put on eating green chile and drankin beer in Rad-O before I made my way here. Pretty soon I might be up to a 2/13 pack, and start giving Zeph a run for his money in the shirts off category. Only time will tell.
Story 5-Lady Boys.
These special young men are a pretty common occurrence both here and in Thailand. In actuality the lady boy phenomenon is well known and not much of a tale, unless you wake up next to one!
You see here in the kingdom, being a white male, you are looked at in many ways, but the one that is quite common is as a sex tourist. It is awful actually, and the sex industry including the trafficking of people is a horrendous problem that has yet to be even close to solved. If I go to certain parts of the city the common phrase I hear is, " My friend you want boom boom? You want (insert any drug imaginable here)?"
Now I know you are all thinking, great is he gonna go on another development theory diatribe. Nope, bored you all with that last time, it is just the needed background information for a couple of stories I have heard from fellow shredder, local Khmer, and bartender Peter.
So with a recent art exhibition showcasing local Lady Boys, I hear two stories of wayward travelers who in search of "boom boom" didn't realize until the light of day that they had make a minor clerical error. Waking up next to a 2.5 o'clock shadow and a pair of man hands. (Khmer folks are not very hairy, hence no 5 o'clock shadow, and also find it so interesting when roundeyes like me have some fur. When I recently got a haircut, I was rocking a tank top to which the barber proceeded to pull aside to show the rest of the female workers, what a mini chest fro looks like. Kinda weird, but really, you start to get used to this kind of shit here is my guess. Back to the story). Well both of these travelin gents, failed to do their homework, not realizing that these young ladies they were paying for "boom boom" had done an excellent job of turning an outy into an iny, adding a couple extra bits, and getting a clean shave before shaking their money makers around town. Whoopsidoodle! I guess that is what you get when you spend your free time partaking in the sex trade.
I hope this time was less depressing than last week, and rest assured, things real are going quite swimmingly, and I am having a real nice time. Getting to meet a lot of interesting people, doing some good work, and actually not being so horrible at skating, key word being not horrible.
Also I have included a couple random pics I kinda like and think you should kinda like too.
Safety hat, Safety Goggles, Safety Straw. Safety First!
Sleepy Tuk Tuk Driver.
Well Said And Too The Point.
Latroids.
Lorli
I think next time will be the Return of the Crusher! Just got some sweet new wheels at Skateistan, and I be in heaven!
*All Khmer spellings are how I kinda pronounce them and probably not correct. If I wrote em in Khmer neither you nor I would have any idea what I was talking about.
