Sure I could write more blogs, but how many times do you want me to tell stories of crazy Afghan shit that will blow your mind. I know it gets old, right. Like come on, entertain us! Well I can't right now, or at least not until they dress the Blue Mosque up like Christmas, which is what I hear they do. It already has the bright lights all around, but I hear there are some wondrous deer or reindeer that also get decorated. Look forward to a post-holiday installment that chronicles how not even Afghanistan can kill the Christmas spirit. Ho Ho Ho.
In the mean time, here are some of the things that I have at my disposal which try and keep me busy: 2 restaurants for people like me(foreigners, and actually open after 7pm), 1 nintendo Wii, 1 gameboy, 3 dogs(+1 from before), 1 pishack, some roommates(although its always fluctuating how many), sometimes chocolate, sometimes beer, always a stomach ache. Hmmmmmmm lets see what else. When the internets work some Peyton Manning, when the internet doesn't work less Peyton Manning, a lot of skateboarding, growing a beard, cutting a beard. These are just some of smaller things I try and use to keep me busy.
All is not lost though, I've been keepin busy. Mix Tape Bizzzzzeeeeeeee!!!!!!
As you would like to think I roll round town like a boss expat, armour plated Humvee with gun turrets and laser scopes. Nope. Aint me. We have a couple rides in this hood, and in order to not look like a jerk, we keep it low key. Like real low key. For fancy driving we have the 4Runner with the 4 wheel drive, which makes us appear like a lower level warlord when cruising the mean streets of the Eisly. Since the main roads are few, the Runner gets some love in the rainier and snowier times, or if we have to move some perros around town.
For more reglier drivin we have the clutches of most Afghan vehicles, the ever trusty always musty often busty Corolla.
Yup thats right we gots a Corolla!
Like any self respecting dude/chick round these parts we are getting in where we fit in.
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| Check Them Rims. Roomie T-Bird and I Reppin Hard! |
Besides taking the restrictor plate off and letting the beast roar up and down the streets of Mos Eisly like a boss. I have been working to create some mix CDs for the ride. Nothing makes cruising through a checkpoint more enjoyable than some good ole mix that keeps dudes from getting to deep into my bizniz. Instead they are serenaded by some smooth sounds or some gangsta ass shit that keeps them from thinkin I am one of the badmen, and nothing but a good hearted Kharegee who is just on a cruise for some Cheetoz* (TM).
There are some sweet Cheetos knock off around here, and they come in all shapes and sizes. There are these lil ones, like MnM size that you can shove about fity in your mouth at a time, then there are some straight up puff knock offs which honestly blow the original out of the park. So light and fluffy, and with zero trans fat, one can eat an entire bag and forget the whole "moment on the lips forever on the hips" thang. Then there are some other squarey ones that have a nice meat/cheese combo flavor and also some spicy Flaming hot knock offs too. All pretty much legit and all pretty much finding their way into my tum tum on a regualr basis. All for about less than a buck per big bag and like less than a quarter per lil bag.
Ahhh Cheetooz..........
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| How Many Types of Cheetoz Do You See Here? |
Oh yeah, where was I.
Oh here.
Makin mix tapes. So I says to em I says, If you gonna bump it, make it loud and proud. Also helps for a dude like me who looks like a dude from here to have a lil americana in the background, so I don't get asked a million questions in a language I have been too lazy to learn(Side note, learning Dari would prove a beneficial time waster, but really, it would just get in the way of making some discos which I can try and impress Dudes at military checkpoints with my acute musical knowledge, "Like yeah I know this cover is better than the original" or "Like yeah, this dude is pretty good but have you heard his other(first) band, its waaay more original(deep)"). These are the types of mixes I have been working on.
So with new mixes in hand and dreams of grandeur all is good. Right. Wrong. Just after completing what was to be some sweet driving tunes, I have come to realize that however my trusty puter burns discos, they don't work here. Its just that whatever version of vehicle we have here just doesn't want to be awesome, obviously. And its not like the puter is broke, just ask Uncle Vince CDB. He and I used to exchange some epic mixes, just blowing minds away with our monthly musical prowess (We have had to slow down a bit since he is a papa now, but one day Lil Waka Flaka C De Baca, when you are reading this just know your old man has impeccable taste in tunes).
Pretty much they way things go here. Come up with some sweet ideas and plans for something that is gonna rock some socks and melt some faces, only to find out it aint gonna work for whatever reason or another. Everything from making dinner or getting to work on time or finding a beer or ummmmmm maybe holding a national election, whatever it is aint gonna go as planned. But sure as hell quite interesting to say the least. Its like putting them OM skills, 'member that Odyssey of the Mind nerd crew shit we all used to do back in the day, to work without the awkward costumes and 8 minute sketch. Well, wait, there are kinda some weird costumes involved I guess at times.......
Oh Yeah. Did I mention I went to the Donkey Races. Nope. Well Just Did. It was Epic.
Kids on Donkeys, riding 60K across Balkh province. With dudes( multiple dudes on 1 moto each to be specific) riding along with sticks to whip the burros to ultimate fastitude and all sorts of cars riding alongside. Big Cars, Lil Cars, Small Cars, Warlord Cars, Old Soviet Cars, all kinds of vehicles cruising around to see the young bachas race to the finish. Even rumors of $10,000 bucks being bet on the riding prowess of youngsters. Oh buddy, I hate to think what a warlord losing 10k on a fucking child on a donkey would do.......
Anywho, it was quite the treat to watch and honestly never seen nothing quite like it, so I got that going for me, which is nice. Here are my friends who watched the epic race take place.
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| I had My Money on This Bacha! I lost :( |
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| Note The Stick. |
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| These Dudes Were There. |
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| This Kid Was Angry. |
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| This Guy Was Stoked. The Other Was Cold. |
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| Stadium Seating Yall! |
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| This Guy Was Definitely There. |
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| I Woulda Won the Race With My Trusty Steed. |
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| Lota Nuthnin. |
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| More Nuthin. Lots of Nuthin Here. |
XOXO
Feliz Navidad
Rorito
