Word.
Really?
That what went down?
No way, I can't believe she did that. Well Kinda......
Me, well I have been trying out a new lifetag in the first few months: FELINE FREE 14! Not sure how it is gonna stick but probably gonna roll with it for a bit longer and see whats up. So far this ano I have been out of AFG, leaving Pishak the Destroyer in the dust, only to find myself in the Feline Full Istanbul. Out of the frying pan and into the fire as my man Baggins says. But then I was lucky enough to make it to Germany for a few cozy weeks. Berlin for all its hipness still gets down and dirté as proper Germany. By that Spending a few weeks in an entire country filled of sausage and beer, sounds like like paradise right? Makes one wonder who wouldn't want to have a country filled to the brim with deliciousness.
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| Say it Proud: Feline Free 14! |
Maybe there is one... The AFG to be precise. They don't want thems heres, but my real question is have they ever had thems, cuz if so I can fucking guarantee that it would be on just about every table and in most mouths. My guess is that someone somewhere told somebody that it was real bad news bears and boom, illegal. No questions asked, or it might have a bigger religious significance, maybe. Either way, hose two things are uber-illegal in these part(Insert funny expat folk tale. Sposedly there is a pig at the Kabul zoo, which no Afghan is allowed to touch, and only an infidel is able to take care of, so as long as the pig is there, technically there will be at least one foreigner in this land). Makes it pretty epic when you come across either, which honestly isn't too hard if you have the right amigos. Which at times I do.
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| This is What I Miss. Frown Face Yall. |
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| These Guys Were There!!! |
Whats new with me is your query? Well actually some big I have some breaking news for everyone. Like pretty epic stuff. My roomie Tbird was checking out an installment of the bloggiest of blogs and came across something extra interesting. VayaConDoritos has been banned!!!! Thats right, banned, blocked, illegal as all hell in the AFG!!!!!!!
I have finally made it!!!!!!!
Now I am not sure by whom, but most likely the internet company there, Etisalat has deemed it inappropriate. Although I would like to think that it is Uncle Karzai in his office getting all caught up on news and shit and when he moogles "Mazar Donkey Races" to see if his wager on some young bacha is coming in and he comes across this site. Now obviously he thinks its fantastic, but because he is el presidente of the AFG, he cant let anyone know that he has a sense of humor. So he has to summin his minions and tell them that there is some awesomeness going down and it needs to "go to sleep"........ So he went ahead and blocked ole uncle lorli's blog, to make sure that the awesomeness that you see right in front of your eyes cannot be seen by any young impressionable Afghan minds, who in tern might also take up arms in awesomeness, and then we would have a mess. Big Time. For the reals yall.
In lieu of being banned, I am now in hiding, and will be doing my good work as a dissident and continue my writing from the war room, aka my bedroom. Wait. Shit. Shouldn't have disclosed that. Hold on a sec.
I am writing from secret location in Djibouti. Yeah, thats the ticket. Secret location in Djibouti.
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| Road to Secret Hideout in Djiboutian Mountains |
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| Can You Believe I Get WiFis in this HideOut??? |
All that talk about coming back to Mazar was just a clever ruse to keep The AFG Man on his toes. I am not here, using learning a few Jedi tricks of my own:
"No sirree, this is not the blog you are looking for. Just a couple of old friends talking about spicecake recipes and quilts, you know regular blog shit. Nothing illegal here at all."
That should do the trick.
Now that I am a dissident people have been asking all sorts of questions. Out of the thousands I picked a few of my favorites and answered them for yall. The names of the askees have been keep anonymous to maintain anonymity and
Q. Hey there Rory, how does it feel being such a large and influential blog that needs to be banned? Did you know that watchful eyes feel threatened from the amazing truth bullets that trickle down your finger tips to the masses, and that potentially you might be the catalyst for the Blue and Arnge Revolution? Also how will you maintain your blogging roots while speaking about the the success of your works?
A. Huh, what was that. I missed it. I was eating chips.
Q. Whats in your pockets?
A. This:
-3 Phones, Like a Fucking Boss(AKA Baby Warlord Status!)
-Some AFG loot and a crudely made wallet to hold my IDs(Don't worry Jru, I still rock the money clip, this is just my out walking around cash, I use the official card carrier for power moves only)
-Chapstick, cant be dissadenting with chapped lips guys, lets get real
-Knife, mostly used to alter my clothing as needed but could also be used to eat peanut butter out the jar
-Keys Open Doors
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| Pretty Much All a Dude Needs in Djibouti |
Q. How many Camels did it take to cross the road?
A-1. This many?
A-2. Or maybe just 1 big one and a donkey.
That's about all from the secret hideout in the Djiboutian highlands for now. Here are a couple extra photos of stuff that I though was just irrelevant enough to keep the AFG Man off my scent.
Keep Rockin and/or Rollin.
Lorli
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| Look Closely, "Its a Lifestyle Drink!" |
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| Throwback From Last Years Bushkashi Party. Just Found This Gem. Shameless Self Promotion, I Know. |
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| EveryBody Hearts St Arts |
