Howdy Folks! How yall doing on that side of life. Things here are prettty decent these days in the life of good ole me. Days are getting warmer and nights are getting shorter, which means summer times a coming. Yeah like a whole nother summer, and about 8 more months of Jorts!!! Whole lotta man thigh gonna be dropping soon.
Where do these lucky people live who get to see some sweet thigh action in all its glory? Well it will be south of the equator in a lil place called Africa, South Africa to be exact. Been here just about a month which has given me enough brain fuel to write my first African blog and do some squat thrusts to tone up a bit before I break out the pasty white-faded denim combo about to rock peeps to the core. Made my way down south after a whirlwind of a trip to Amurrica for lil Baby Wolfeyes Aka Mr Little Jeans glorious nuptial. Quite a hoot and definitely one of the longest/besest weeks to date!
Yay!
So my guess is yall people are like whats it like down there? Are there lions and gazelles just straight chillen on the block? Whats the local eating scene like? How hot is it? Give us some juicy details!
Well there are no live critters around, but what could soon be my newest favorite watering hole has quiet few. One dude shot and killed pretty much one of each of this continents innocent, soft, furry, lovable animals. Probably gonna be a whole separate post, because I need to start going more often and figuring what the fuck is really happening there. Its pretty amazinglyawesome and I need to get in good with the proprietor in order to get stories to go along with the photos to be tooken.
Enough of that jazz. Now listen up closely yall, I want to tell a secret, and its kindofa biggie. You ready. OK.
I HAVE FINALLY MADE IT BIGTIME!!!!!!! Like bigger than when I thought I was above the law in Bodia!
How have I achieved this you ask? Well let me tell you. I as a 34 year old dude(yes that is correct 34) I have officially moved back into the dorms! Fuck Yes you heard right. I am a 34 year old living in college dorms down here in JoBurg.
Want to know what I call that, Livin The Fuckin Dream!
In my mind I kinda like to think of myself as a younger, more roughish, less entertaining Rodney Dangerfield in that one movie from the 80's, and believe me hilarity and hijinks have definitely ensued in the past month.
I have already been on 4 panty raids with a the new pledges, and we have yet to get caught, although the RA on the third floor is starting to suspect what me and the boys have been up to. From my fine days at CU (Ranked #1 Partay School in the Nation For Your Info Verification: http://www.dailycamera.com/ci_17835587 Thanks Mom and Dad! Your $$$ Was Not Wasted).
I have been teaching all the young bucks and buckettes how to make some dang delish and refined jungle juice(We like to use fresh squeezed OJ and bitters and a touch of cinnamon in our batches to give it that fancy, yet still effective, craft cocktail flavor and penache. Blowing Minds with this stuff yall), holding vicious beer pong training sessions, and finally we have a weekly class making all kinda of different bongs. Beer Bongs, Reglier Weed Bongs, Castle Light Bongs, Rhino Horn Bongs, we are literally making bongs out of all sorts of things here!
We have yet to break into the deans office, but that is coming right quick once they get their midterm grades, come on I just live in the dorms, I don't go to classes like some 34 year old weirdo. No thank you, I am just fine hanging out with all the youngings when all the shenanigans are going down! Not weird at all.
In the mean time I have been keepin busy and my best to avoid my hippie tree-huggin recyling neighbors. Man who woulda thought there would be hippies down here makin all sorts of racket. Just kidding, there are no hippies here, Thank Gawd! But there is a crazy recycling crew that live outside my window. One of the old dudes that lives there gestures for me to come inside some afternoons, but I have yet to take him up on the offer. That might also be a whole nuther blog in itself, when I finally get the huevos to venture there. Lotta thangs to get into in my new locale!
 |
| Tree Huggin Recycling Plant |
Here is a lil sneak peak into what my new life looks like in all its glory.
 |
| Dorm Building in White. |
 |
| Gates to Keep the Rif Raf Out and the 34 Year Olds In! |
 |
| Dorm Mascot! |
 |
Super Chill Kitchen(Humans Added For Scale) |
 |
| Chillax Living Room(Humans Added For Scale) |
 |
| Lions Den(Thats Definitely Sounds Like Where the Cool 34 Year Old on the 4th Floor Resides to Me) |
 |
| Whoa. How Did This Get in Here. Gotta be Those Dam Alpha Beta's! Always Playing Pranks! Got Me This Time! |
 |
| This Guy Had Waaaaayyyyyyy Too Much Juice at Freshman Hazing Fiesta! (Also Had His Shoes Stolen, No Joke) |
 |
| JoBurg By Day |
 |
| Jozi By Night(Jozi Sounds Like a Smooth Jazz Club, So Thats Why Its Used For The Nighttime) |
Well I am off to go and see if we can craft a new more-serious high-propulsion beer bong for this weekends Dorm Wars! 4th Floor Gonna Reign Supreme!
Next Installment: Kaizer Chiefs, My New Squad!
