LETS GO CHEFS!!!!

Reverso fall time has things heating up nicely down south.  Instead of punkin spice lattes and coldness, its rapidly becoming jort weather and time for uncle lorli to start breaking out the gunshow on the reg.   Been going to the boxing gym yall, getting these badboys read to impress the babes fo sho.  While I am out cutting off the sleeves on any shirt I have and yall are getting the sniffles, we can share one nice commonality, Football!!

That is correct, football season is in full swing here in SA, and being the aficianado that I am for things with balls, I have adopted a new team to root for in addition to my long standing allegiance to the Peyton Manning TD Show(Ever try wearing a Broncos sweater in 90 degree heat? my Sundays have me getting a bit steamy cruising round town reppin the hometown boys).  My New squad is the Chiefs, no not the hapless red and yellow chumps from down 1-70, but rather the Yellow and Black on SA's finest football team, the Kaizer Chiefs (and did I mention reigning champs- come on gotta back a winner when jumping a bandwagon). 

How did I choose this new allegiance you wonder?  Well it all has to do with my amigo Solly, who I expressed interest in the idea of going to a game one saturday afternoon working and making sure the skate ramp built on top of the building will keep boards from falling 3 stories down into the fish and chips shop below, that would be bad.  I asked him about the games, and Solly told me lets go tonight, I will get the tickets, get you a jersey, and you will root for the Chiefs.   Not much of a hard decision to make.  So we did, and now a few games later, I can officially say I am a die hard fan, with more than 1 article of Chief gear.  Already have 1 jersey, 1 street T, and some arm sleeves to protect the gun show from rain showers and/or just make me look sweet on demand.  I will be taking orders for Chiefs gear upon my return home, so just send shirt or gun size and it shall be done. 

Now that I have made this decision to root for the Chiefs, I haven't regretted a single moment. Besides the sheer fact of being a winning team, Chiefs games also get wild with fan support which your eyeballs will process in word and photo form shortly. 

Ok here. Top 13 reasons I am, and you should be, a Chiefs Fan!

1. The coolest people are Chief Fans, including amigos Solly, Ayanda and Masasa.

2. So is this Guy!

3. And these guys too!

4. They enter the field to one of my all-time favorite jams, R Kelly's "Worlds Greatest"

5. They have great fan services, during and after life.

6. They are the Champs!

7. They are a South African with a Native American Chief logo, Dan Snyder eat your heart out, aint nobody calling for boycotts here!

8. This is how goals are celebrated.

9. Vuvazelas are a real fucking thing and yes Blakey you are getting one for xmas.

ALL THIS

FOR THIS

10. The beer lines get so hectic, that people will literally rip clothes off each other to get another glass of that sweet sweet football fuel.


11. I get to run my mouth to Pirates fans(Who are the other squad in town and not reigning champs, fucking losers!)

12. They are putting their foot down on counterfit gear in what might possibly extremely racist fashion.

13. Um, These guys too, and check the beard on dude on the left.  Legit.

Amakhosi 4 Life!

Big Time Down South

Howdy Folks! How yall doing on that side of life. Things here are prettty decent these days in the life of good ole me. Days are getting warmer and nights are getting shorter, which means summer times a coming. Yeah like a whole nother summer, and about 8 more months of Jorts!!! Whole lotta man thigh gonna be dropping soon. 

Where do these lucky people live who get to see some sweet thigh action in all its glory? Well it will be south of the equator in a lil place called Africa, South Africa to be exact. Been here just about a month which has given me enough brain fuel to write my first African blog and do some squat thrusts to tone up a bit before I break out the pasty white-faded denim combo about to rock peeps to the core. Made my way down south after a whirlwind of a trip to Amurrica for lil Baby Wolfeyes Aka Mr Little Jeans glorious nuptial.  Quite a hoot and definitely one of the longest/besest weeks to date!

Yay!

So my guess is yall people are like whats it like down there? Are there lions and gazelles just straight chillen on the block? Whats the local eating scene like? How hot is it? Give us some juicy details!

Well there are no live critters around, but what could soon be my newest favorite watering hole has quiet few.   One dude shot and killed pretty much one of each of this continents innocent, soft, furry, lovable animals.  Probably gonna be a whole separate post, because I need to start going more often and figuring what the fuck is really happening there. Its pretty amazinglyawesome and I need to get in good with the proprietor in order to get stories to go along with the photos to be tooken. 

Enough of that jazz. Now listen up closely yall, I want to tell a secret, and its kindofa biggie.  You ready.  OK.  

I HAVE FINALLY MADE IT BIGTIME!!!!!!!  Like bigger than when I thought I was above the law in Bodia!

How have I achieved this you ask? Well let me tell you.  I as a 34 year old dude(yes that is correct 34) I have officially moved back into the dorms!  Fuck Yes you heard right.  I am a 34 year old living in college dorms down here in JoBurg. 

Want to know what I call that, Livin The Fuckin Dream! 

In my mind I kinda like to think of myself as a younger, more roughish, less entertaining Rodney Dangerfield in that one movie from the 80's, and believe me hilarity and hijinks have definitely ensued in the past month.  

I have already been on 4 panty raids with a the new pledges, and we have yet to get caught, although the RA on the third floor is starting to suspect what me and the boys have been up to.  From my fine days at CU (Ranked #1 Partay School in the Nation For Your Info Verification: http://www.dailycamera.com/ci_17835587  Thanks Mom and Dad!  Your $$$ Was Not Wasted).

I have been  teaching all the young bucks and buckettes how to make some dang delish and refined jungle juice(We like to use fresh squeezed OJ and bitters and a touch of cinnamon in our batches to give it that fancy, yet still effective, craft cocktail flavor and penache. Blowing Minds with this stuff yall), holding vicious beer pong training sessions, and finally we have a weekly class making all kinda of different bongs.  Beer Bongs, Reglier Weed Bongs, Castle Light Bongs, Rhino Horn Bongs, we are literally making bongs out of all sorts of things here!

We have yet to break into the deans office, but that is coming right quick once they get their midterm grades, come on I just live in the dorms, I don't go to classes like some 34 year old weirdo. No thank you, I am just fine hanging out with all the youngings when all the shenanigans are going down! Not weird at all. 

In the mean time I have been keepin busy and my best to avoid my hippie tree-huggin recyling neighbors. Man who woulda thought there would be hippies down here makin all sorts of racket.  Just kidding, there are no hippies here, Thank Gawd! But there is a crazy recycling crew that live outside my window. One of the old dudes that lives there gestures for me to come inside some afternoons, but I have yet to take him up on the offer. That might also be a whole nuther blog in itself, when I finally get the huevos to venture there. Lotta thangs to get into in my new locale!

Tree Huggin Recycling Plant

                      Here is a lil sneak peak into what my new life looks like in all its glory.  

Dorm Building in White. 

Gates to Keep the Rif Raf Out and the 34 Year Olds In!

Dorm Mascot!

Super Chill Kitchen(Humans Added For Scale)

Chillax Living Room(Humans Added For Scale)

Lions Den(Thats Definitely Sounds Like Where the Cool 34 Year Old on the 4th Floor Resides to Me)

Whoa.  How Did This Get in Here.  Gotta be Those Dam Alpha Beta's! Always Playing Pranks!  Got Me This Time! 

This Guy Had Waaaaayyyyyyy Too Much Juice at Freshman Hazing Fiesta! (Also Had His Shoes Stolen, No Joke)

JoBurg By Day

Jozi By Night(Jozi Sounds Like a Smooth Jazz Club, So Thats Why Its Used For The Nighttime)

Well I am off to go and see if we can craft a new more-serious high-propulsion beer bong for this weekends Dorm Wars! 4th Floor Gonna Reign Supreme!

Next Installment: Kaizer Chiefs, My New Squad!

Blocked!!!!!!!!!

Sup in that '14 amigooos?

Word.

Really?

That what went down?

No way, I can't believe she did that.  Well Kinda......

Me, well I have been trying out a new lifetag in the first few months: FELINE FREE 14!  Not sure how it is gonna stick but probably gonna roll with it for a bit longer and see whats up. So far this ano I have been out of AFG, leaving Pishak the Destroyer in the dust, only to find myself in the Feline Full Istanbul.  Out of the frying pan and into the fire as my man Baggins says.  But then I was lucky enough to make it to Germany for a few cozy weeks. Berlin for all its hipness still gets down and dirté as proper Germany.  By that  Spending a few weeks in an entire country filled of sausage and beer, sounds like like paradise right? Makes one wonder who wouldn't want to have a country filled to the brim with deliciousness. 

Say it Proud: Feline Free 14!

Maybe there is one... The AFG to be precise. They don't want thems heres, but my real question is have they ever had thems, cuz if so I can fucking guarantee that it would be on just about every table and in most mouths.  My guess is that someone somewhere told somebody that it was real bad news bears and boom, illegal. No questions asked, or it might have a bigger religious significance, maybe. Either way, hose two things are uber-illegal in these part(Insert funny expat folk tale. Sposedly there is a pig at the Kabul zoo, which no Afghan is allowed to touch, and only an infidel is able to take care of, so as long as the pig is there, technically there will be at least one foreigner in this land). Makes it pretty epic when you come across either, which honestly isn't too hard if you have the right amigos. Which at times I do.

This is What I Miss. Frown Face Yall.

These Guys Were There!!!

Whats new with me is your query? Well actually some big I have some breaking news for everyone.  Like pretty epic stuff. My roomie Tbird was checking out an installment of the bloggiest of blogs and came across something extra interesting.  VayaConDoritos has been banned!!!!  Thats right, banned, blocked, illegal as all hell in the AFG!!!!!!!

I have finally made it!!!!!!!

Now I am not sure by whom, but most likely the internet company there, Etisalat has deemed it inappropriate.   Although I would like to think that it is Uncle Karzai in his office getting all caught up on news and shit and when he moogles "Mazar Donkey Races" to see if his wager on some young bacha is coming in and he comes across this site. Now obviously he thinks its fantastic, but because he is el presidente of the AFG, he cant let anyone know that he has a sense of humor. So he has to summin his minions and tell them that there is some awesomeness going down and it needs to "go to sleep"........ So he went ahead and blocked ole uncle lorli's blog, to make sure that the awesomeness that you see right in front of your eyes cannot be seen by any young impressionable Afghan minds, who in tern might also take up arms in awesomeness, and then we would have a mess.  Big Time. For the reals yall. 

In lieu of being banned, I am now in hiding, and will be doing my good work as a dissident and continue my writing from the war room, aka my bedroom. Wait.  Shit.  Shouldn't have disclosed that. Hold on a sec.

I am writing from secret location in Djibouti.  Yeah, thats the ticket.  Secret location in Djibouti.  

Road to Secret Hideout in Djiboutian Mountains

Can You Believe I Get WiFis in this HideOut???

All that talk about coming back to Mazar was just a clever ruse to keep The AFG Man on his toes.   I am not here, using learning a few Jedi tricks of my own:

 "No sirree, this is not the blog you are looking for. Just a couple of old friends talking about spicecake recipes and quilts, you know regular blog shit.  Nothing illegal here at all."

That should do the trick.   



Now that I am a dissident people have been asking all sorts of questions.  Out of the thousands I picked a few of my favorites and answered them for yall. The names of the askees have been keep anonymous to maintain anonymity and


Q. Hey there Rory, how does it feel being such a large and influential blog that needs to be banned? Did you know that watchful eyes feel threatened from the amazing truth bullets that trickle down your finger tips to the masses, and that potentially you might be the catalyst for the Blue and Arnge Revolution? Also how will you maintain your blogging roots while speaking about the the success of your works? 

A. Huh, what was that. I missed it. I was eating chips.


Q. Whats in your pockets?

A. This:
    -3 Phones, Like a Fucking Boss(AKA Baby Warlord Status!)

    -Some AFG loot and a crudely made wallet to hold my IDs(Don't worry Jru, I still rock the money clip, this is     just my out walking around cash, I use the official card carrier for power moves only)
   
    -Chapstick, cant be dissadenting with chapped lips guys, lets get real

    -Knife, mostly used to alter my clothing as needed but could also be used to eat peanut butter out  the jar

    -Keys Open Doors

Pretty Much All a Dude Needs in Djibouti

   
Q. How many Camels did it take to cross the road?

A-1. This many?

A-2. Or maybe just 1 big one and a donkey.

That's about all from the secret hideout in the Djiboutian highlands for now.  Here are a couple extra photos of stuff that I though was just irrelevant enough to keep the AFG Man off my scent. 

Keep Rockin and/or Rollin.

Lorli

Look Closely, "Its a Lifestyle Drink!"

Throwback From Last Years Bushkashi Party. Just Found This Gem.  Shameless Self Promotion, I Know.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

EveryBody Hearts St Arts

Corolla Mix Tapes

Whats up guys.  Not much here.  No really, like nothing at all really happening here.  Like really really really nothing happening here at all ever.  Its fucking boring as all hell to say the least. Outside of the obligitory 5 1/2 day work week, which is making huuuuuuge progress form the 6 day work week of Ktown I am pretty much melting my brainmeats away just trying to find things to keep myself entertained.

Sure I could write more blogs, but how many times do you want me to tell stories of crazy Afghan shit that will blow your mind.  I know it gets old, right.  Like come on, entertain us!  Well I can't  right now, or at least not until they dress the Blue Mosque up like Christmas, which is what I hear they do.  It already has the bright lights all around, but I hear there are some wondrous deer or reindeer that also get decorated.  Look forward to a post-holiday installment that chronicles how not even Afghanistan can kill the Christmas spirit.  Ho Ho Ho. 

In the mean time, here are some of the things that I have at my disposal which try and keep me busy: 2 restaurants for people like me(foreigners, and actually open after 7pm), 1 nintendo Wii, 1 gameboy, 3 dogs(+1 from before), 1 pishack, some roommates(although its always fluctuating how many), sometimes chocolate, sometimes beer, always a stomach ache.   Hmmmmmmm lets see what else.   When the internets work some Peyton Manning, when the internet doesn't work less Peyton Manning, a lot of skateboarding, growing a beard, cutting a beard.  These are just some of smaller things I try and use to keep me busy.  

All is not lost though, I've been keepin busy. Mix Tape Bizzzzzeeeeeeee!!!!!!

As you would like to think I roll round town like a boss expat, armour plated Humvee with gun turrets and laser scopes.  Nope. Aint me.  We have a couple rides in this hood, and in order to not look like a jerk, we keep it low key.  Like real low key.  For fancy driving we have the 4Runner with the 4 wheel drive, which makes us appear like a lower level warlord when cruising the mean streets of the Eisly. Since the main roads are few, the Runner gets some love in the rainier and snowier times, or if we have to move some perros around town. 

For more reglier drivin we have the clutches of most Afghan vehicles, the ever trusty always musty often busty Corolla. 

Yup thats right we gots a Corolla!

Like any self respecting dude/chick round these parts we are getting in where we fit in.

Check Them Rims.  Roomie T-Bird and I Reppin Hard!

Besides taking the restrictor plate off and letting the beast roar up and down the streets of Mos Eisly like a boss.  I have been working to create some mix CDs for the ride. Nothing makes cruising through a checkpoint more enjoyable than some good ole mix that keeps dudes from getting to deep into my bizniz.  Instead they are serenaded by some smooth sounds or some gangsta ass shit that keeps them from thinkin I am one of the badmen, and nothing but a good hearted Kharegee who is just on a cruise for some Cheetoz* (TM). 

There are some sweet Cheetos knock off around here, and they come in all shapes and sizes.  There are these lil ones, like MnM size that you can shove about fity in your mouth at a time, then there are some straight up puff knock offs which honestly blow the original out of the park.  So light and fluffy, and with zero trans fat, one can eat an entire bag and forget the whole "moment on the lips forever on the hips" thang. Then there are some other squarey ones that have a nice meat/cheese combo flavor and also some spicy Flaming hot knock offs too. All pretty much legit and all pretty much finding their way into my tum tum on a regualr basis.  All for about less than a buck per big bag and like less than a quarter per lil bag. 

Ahhh Cheetooz..........

How Many Types of Cheetoz Do You See Here?

Oh yeah, where was I. 

Oh here. 

Makin mix tapes. So I says to em I says, If you gonna bump it, make it loud and proud.  Also helps for a dude like me who looks like a dude from here to have a lil americana in the background, so I don't get asked a million questions in a language I have been too lazy to learn(Side note, learning Dari would prove a beneficial time waster, but really, it would just get in the way of making some discos which I can try and impress Dudes at military checkpoints with my acute musical knowledge, "Like yeah I know this cover is better than the original" or "Like yeah, this dude is pretty good but have you heard his other(first) band, its waaay more original(deep)"). These are the types of mixes I have been working on. 

So with new mixes in hand and dreams of grandeur all is good. Right. Wrong.  Just after completing what was to be some sweet driving tunes, I have come to realize that however my trusty puter burns discos, they don't work here. Its just that whatever version of vehicle we have here just doesn't want to be awesome, obviously.  And its not like the puter is broke, just ask Uncle Vince CDB.  He and I used to exchange some epic mixes, just blowing minds away with our monthly musical prowess (We have had to slow down a bit since he is a papa now, but one day Lil Waka Flaka C De Baca, when you are reading this just know your old man has impeccable taste in tunes). 

Pretty much they way things go here.  Come up with some sweet ideas and plans for something that is gonna rock some socks and melt some faces, only to find out it aint gonna work for whatever reason or another.  Everything from making dinner or getting to work on time or finding a beer or  ummmmmm maybe holding a national election, whatever it is aint gonna go as planned.  But sure as hell quite interesting to say the least. Its like putting them OM skills,  'member that Odyssey of the Mind nerd crew shit we all used to do back in the day, to work without the awkward costumes and 8 minute sketch.  Well, wait, there are kinda some weird costumes involved I guess at times....... 

Oh Yeah. Did I mention I went to the Donkey Races.  Nope.  Well Just Did.  It was Epic.

Kids on Donkeys, riding 60K across Balkh province.  With dudes( multiple dudes on 1 moto each to be specific) riding along with sticks to whip the burros to ultimate fastitude and all sorts of cars riding alongside. Big Cars, Lil Cars, Small Cars, Warlord Cars, Old Soviet Cars, all kinds of vehicles cruising around to see the young bachas race to the finish.  Even rumors of $10,000 bucks being bet on the riding prowess of youngsters.  Oh buddy, I hate to think what a warlord losing 10k on a fucking child on a donkey would do.......

Anywho, it was quite the treat to watch and honestly never seen nothing quite like it, so I got that going for me, which is nice.  Here are my friends who watched the epic race take place.

I had My Money on This Bacha! I lost :(

Note The Stick. 

These Dudes Were There.

This Kid Was Angry.

This Guy Was Stoked. The Other Was Cold.

Stadium Seating Yall!

This Guy Was Definitely There.

I Woulda Won the Race With My Trusty Steed.

Lota Nuthnin.

More Nuthin.  Lots of Nuthin Here.

XOXO
Feliz Navidad
Rorito

Bizare Ride ii the Mazaaarcyde

Sup Dudettes and Dudes.  It has been officially one month in Mazar-e-Sharif. People be all like whats your new place like, how many skyscrapers are there, what sort of cool stuff is going down? Is there a Friday Night Fish Fry that you get your grub on the reg? Where is the closest BK, and do they have croissanwiches(Actually there is one here at the base with Whoppers TM galore for all our fightin folks over here).  And So on And So Forth.

 Well to answer these queries and more, I have officially come to the conclusion that the best way to describe to yalls my new desert paradise is by imagining the town of Mos Eisley on the delightful desert planet of Tatooine in Star Wars. You 'member Mos Eisly right? Its the magical town where Obi Wan takes lil Luke and they meet that roguish Han Solo and the lovable Chewy.  Its all dusty and filled with mercenaries, gangsters, imperial guards, greedos and cantina folk, young jedis, old jedis, yada yada yada.  Well guess what, this place pretty much has all the same stuff, plus an amazing Blue Mosque which is beautiful.

See Told Ya.


I digress, back to the Mos Eisley chit chat. I have come up with a way to better describe the folks inhabiting my new spot.

Gangsters. Check( although officially referred to as Warlords, and this place is full of them. Everything from low level minions cruising around to High Level Generalissimo's in full convoy) 

Mercenaries. Check( aka military contractors. These are the dudes who are in the know about all the good stuff. Usually ex-military from some point in their lives, they now make a living keeping folks like the gangsters and cantina folk safe from the bad men)

Imperial Guards. Check( got the German Base here with plenty of soldiers and for extra fun times and all the illegal pig products one could want)

Greedos. Check( my guess is that there is at least one trixy-double-crossing dude here.  Just try buying stuff at the market.  Amazing the shit people pull.  Was looking at a belt the other day and the dude wanted 40 dollars for it.  It had a nail, a fucking nail for a buckle and was made of scrap leather  So yes, looking at it that way, there are plenty of greedos here)

Cantina Folk. Check( I would give this to the expat crowd here, as we are the only ones partaking in the 2 "Cantina's" in Mazar, buying overpriced beers, and there is even a dude who brings his guitar to every expat function to play music quite similar to this: http://starwars.com/watch/episode_4_creature_cantina.html  He also plays a stunning cover of Elvis Prezzly's "In the Ghetto."  Ever hear that song sung by a Swiss dude, "As the snow flies, On a cold and gray Chicago mornin'
A poor little baby child is born........."  Off key and in a foreign accent)

Young and Old Jedis. Probably Check( I have yet to see one in the flesh, I figure there is some dudes all like "These aren't the droids you are looking for".  Then I realized that we drive through checkpoints on the daily, and flash a kharagee smile, and get waved through like we got mind control.  All like, "Yo we are not the Talibs you are looking for."  Whoa, maybe we are jedis.  Shit yeah, I have always wanted to be a jedi, or possibly a dude who has an intergalactic spaceship and nicely feathered hair. Either way not bad)

In my Mazar/Mos Eisley home we cannot go around shooting wamp rats in Beggar's Canyon for fun, but I have heard that there are some interesting animal fights I can partake in for leisurely gambling. So far I have heard of dog fights, cock fights, bird fights, and camel fights( also lets not forget the human fights taking place on the reg here).  I have yet to see any myself, but if enough fan mail comes in for a fighting critter post, then you best believe that I will make it happen.  I got nothin else to do honestly.

Technically there are some impromptu dog fights every fucking night outside of our house.  But I am pretty sure these are not for any betting purposes, but rather dogs fighting for the best bits from the garbage dump outside the front gates and to equally keep me from slumbering into dreamland.  Did I forget to mention we have a garbage dump outside the front gates, hmmmmmmm, musta slipped my mind.  But yes, just like Bodia, livin next to garbage again. 

Tusken Raider Territory

Jawa House

Deserty Goodness

Also in this magical land there are some new and fun stories in which I can send your way, some of which I have witnessed directly and another which a friend of a friend who knows this guy who knows this girl who saw Ferris pass out at 31 Flavors last night, so you know it must be legit. 

Story 1. Coupla days ago, we was doing some driving through downtown Mos Eisely and as per the usual there are some lil beggar kids asking for some cash. Now per company policy we dont give loot to the lil street bachas, as it only perpetuates a cycle of street begging, yada yada.  Well this particular day there was also a wedding caravan cruising through at the same time.  This wedding caravan also got hit up for some monies, and instead of just ignoring the youngster, a Grown Ass Man got out the car and began to beat the child.  No fucking joke. Punching with grown up angry fists of fury, on a child.  Nobody even batted an eye on the busy street, business as usual.  Dude got back in his caravan, probably went and found himself a bacha bazi http://afpak.foreignpolicy.com/posts/2013/10/28/an_afghan_tragedy_why_rampant_pedophilia_is_a_hurdle_to_peace  This place is fucking crazy.

Story 2.  Coupla days before a coupla days ago, there were some youngsters you lost their kite over the wall at work. Since it is kite fighting season, did I forget to mention that they fight inadiment objects here too, my B, there is all sorts of kites flying through the daytime sky.  So on this day I am walking to the park for a lil afternoon shred session, and see two bachas pointing at a kite on the ground.  Now with my extremely limited Dari, I still understood, "Yo dude, hook us up and give us back the kite so we can get back to playing." So I obliged, picked up the kite and began to hand it over to the youngsters hanging on the fence.  Little did I know that they were not in cahoots on this kite flying mission, but rather both trying to get me to give them the kite.  I passed the kite into their lil hands and as they both grabbed for it and then tore it to pieces trying to take it from the other.  No kites for nobody.  This isn's a great story honestly, but I like to think of it as a mini-microcosm of this entire place, like my own lil morality tale. 

Kite Fightin Yall

Story 3. This shit is so good that one cannot even fathom how to make it up, as it would be almost too hard to come up with. FYI its probably PG 18 or more for its salacious content. A friend of mine Kate told me this story: One of her colleagues who is fluent in Dari, although he is not Afghan, overheard her organizations drivers discussing stuff drivers discuss at lunch.  This days lunch discussion was regarding one drivers wifey problems.  To be more specific this, his wife during intercourse was "too" lubricated which he didn't like whatsoever.  His solution to this problem, instruct his wife to put sand into her "area" in order to dry things up, as we all know sand has this amazing quality. Got an oil spill, add some sand, knock over a gallon of milk, add some sand.  Wife too moist, youbetcha, sand. With me so far? Now things take another fun and amazing turn, the couple then continues to make whoopie after the desertification of the wife's reproductive organs.  What happens as the result, the man now has some sort of rash on his junk from the sandy sex, which he is now currently upset with his wife about, and discussing over lunch with other drivers and listening ears. 

You are now free to enjoy your day.


Khodafez.

Lorli

Street Horsey

Mean Streets of Mos Eisley

SpeederBike!

One of Tatooine's 2 Suns

The other of Tatooine's 2 S